In giving orders. When I'm on Parade,
And ought to say, "Fours Right," by Jove! I'm certain
To holloa out, "Come, hurry up that curtain!"
Going to Providence the other night,
I ordered all the hands, "Dress to the Right!"
I saw my error, and called out again,
"Hold on! I meant to say, The Ladies' Chain."
At Matinee the other afternoon,
When all the violins seemed well in tune,
I sang out to the Bell Boy, "What's the hitch?
If the Express is due, you'd better switch!"
My order seemed the boy to overwhelm--
"Lubber!" I cried, "why don't you port your helm?"
I made a speech the other night at mess,
And what my toast was, nobody will guess;
It should have been, "The Union"--'twas, "Be cheery,
Boys! the toast we have to drink is--Erie."
The boys laughed loudly, being the right, sort,
And said, "Why, Admiral! you're hard a _port_."
One time, when GOULD and I were on the cars,
I thought th' officials of the train were tars;
Told them to "Coil that rope and clean the scuppers,
And then go down below and get your suppers."
This must be changed, or my good name will suffer,
And folks will say, JIM FISK is but a duffer.
To feel myself a fool and lose my head,
Too, takes the gilding off the gingerbread;
And makes me ask myself the reason why
On earth I have so many fish to fry?
The fact is, what I touch must have a risk