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[Illustration: When, at last, they left him, he returned sadly to New
York.]

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IDIOTIC ITEMS.

On Tuesday last one of the swans in Central Park laid a hen's egg.

A celebrated English professor of heraldry is now at Long Branch,
studying the crests of the waves.

Dr. LIVINGSTONE is no longer a white man. The large colored princess
whom he has been compelled to marry has beaten him black and blue.

Louis NAPOLEON'S first bulletin about the war was the bullet in the
pocket of NAP Junior.

An intelligent cordwainer of this city has invented a bathing shoe to
fit the under-toe at Long Branch.

The lock of the writing-desk made with his own hands by LOUIS NAPOLEON,
at Hoboken, has been presented to the Empress EUGENIE by a gentleman
residing at Union Hill, in exchange for a lock of her Majesty's hair.

Yesterday, while three eminent Wall street brokers--names, BROWN, JONES,
and ROBINSON--were engaged in watering stock, they fell in and were