RULES BY WHICH EVERY MAN CAN BECOME GREAT.

1. Always be sure to get what belongs to you, and make most vigorous
grabs for everything that belongs to everybody else.

2. Take everything which is offered to you, if it be on a par with what
you deem the standard of your worth.

This rule requires the exercise of much wisdom in its application. If,
for example, you look upon the Custom House as the office which is
adapted to you, don't, under any circumstances, take the appraiser's
position. But you must never let the rule work the other way.

3. Always have a policy. Talk about it much and often, and be sure to
call it "my policy."

The best of rules being liable to misconstruction, some Congressmen have
acted as if this rule read, "Always have a policy shop."

4. Always have a theory. If a murder has been committed, appear to know
all about the "dog," and to be familiar with its history from the time
when it was a pup. Be sure to fix suspicion upon some person, even if
you are compelled to eat your own words on the following day.

5. Talk much and often about protection, and give advice to farmers,
even if you don't know anything about agriculture.

6. Fill your head with classical quotations, and trot them out on all
occasions, whether discussing a bill for the diffusion of beans among
the Indians, or the Alabama claims.