7. Smoke many costly Havana cigars.

This rule has been lately discovered.

8. Get some one to write a history of CAESAR for you, or an account of a
tour in the Highlands, and then claim the work as your own.

There are one or two observations I would here make, which may be
useful. If you are ambitious, you had better commence at the lower
rounds of the ladder, in order that your ascent may be safe and rapid.
If you would be, for instance, a great statesman, be first an alderman;
if a great warrior, be first--well, say a tanner. Also, you should pay
particular attention to the clothes which you inhabit. An old white hat
and a slouchy old overcoat will insure you a nomination for the office
of Governor.

If, by following these rules and heeding these observations, you cannot
become a great man, you may rest assured that the fault is not in the
rules, but in you. What is already perfect cannot be made more perfect.
If you fail, after conscientiously following the above advice, (though
I'm not sure that the fact will not be the same, if you succeed,) it's
because you are already great--a great fool.

* * * * *

"THE COLORED TROOPS FOUGHT NOBLY."

So far as the Franco-Prussian war has gone, the blackest page of its
history appears to be the employment of the Turcos, who are nearly as