deny it. (_Curtain again falls, and_ STOEPEL _plays the entire opera of_
ERNANI _for two hours. Deaf old gentleman remarks that music is the_
STOEPEL _entertainment at this theatre, and that he really likes it. The
rest of the audience look at him with horror, as though he were a sort
of aggravated and superfluous cannibal_.)

ACT IV.--_Sir_ PATRICK _proves that_ GEOFFREY _is married to_ ANNIE,
_and that_ ARNOLD _isn't_. GEOFFREY _takes his weeping wife home with
him. Everybody finds out that_ GEOFFREY _is an enormous liar and an
unmitigated blackguard. Through the open windows are seen the editors of
the Sun and the Free Press, each determined to be the first to offer_
GEOFFREY _a place on the staff of his respective journal. The curtain
falls and_ STOEPEL _directs each member of the orchestra to play the
tune that he may like best. After three hours of this sort of thing a
humane person in the audience brings in a saw and begins to file it. The
rest of the audience are thereupon gently lulled to sleep by the music
of the file--so soft and soothing does it sound by contrast with_
STOEPEL'S _demoniac orchestra._

ACT V.--ANNIE, _in the midst of misery and a gorgeous silk dress with
lace trimmings, is seen going to bed in her best clothes, and without
taking her hair down--this being the well-known custom among fashionably
dressed girls_. GEOFFREY _enters and attempts to strangle her, but she
is awakened by the considerate forethought of a dumb woman, who loudly
calls her, and_ GEOFFREY _conveniently lies down and dies of paralysis.
All the rest of the dramatis personae enter, and indulge in exclamations
of joy. The curtain falls for the last time, and_ STOEPEL _is removed
under the protection of a strong platoon of policemen, to the secret
abode where_ DALY _keeps him hidden during the day from the wrath of an
outraged public_.