* * * * *

[Illustration: COMFORTING ASSURANCES.

_H. Greeley and G. W. Curtis, together._ "OHO! LITTLE WOODFORD; AIN'T
YOU GOING TO BE LICKED, NEITHER!--WON'T YOU GET YOUR EYES BLACKED, AND
YOUR NOSE SMASHED, AND YOUR TEETH BROKE!--AIN'T I GLAD I AIN'T THE ONE
AS HAS GOT TO FIGHT BIG JOHNNY HOFFMAN!"]

* * * * *

AN AGRICULTURAL RHYME.

NOT BY H. G.

Plough deep--two feet, at least--for corn or rye.
You can't, in stony land? Sir, that's a lie;
A sub-soil plough will do it; then manure,
And put on plenty; if the land is poor,
Get muck and plaster; buy them by the heap,
No matter what they cost, you'll find them cheap.
I've tried them often, and I think I know,
Then plough again two feet before you sow.

Potatoes get on best in sandy soil,
I'm sure of _that_--but plant before you boil;
Then put in strawberries; that's what I do--
Confound you for a blockhead! Why don't you
Get modern works and read them? No, you'd rather
Go creeping on just like your stupid father.