handmaids, Sarah Lamley and Ann Fairbank, in their family visits to
Friends of Barnsley, as mentioned last Fifth Month, to speak so clearly to
my situation in their private opportunity with us, as to leave no room for
excuse; but I was forced to acknowledge, Thou art the man. Indeed, Sarah
Lamley was led in such an extraordinary manner, that I had no doubt at all
but that she was favored with a clear and fall sense of my state. She
began by enumerating the many fears which attended the apostles in their
various situations; how that Satan had desired to have some of them that
he might sift them as wheat in a sieve; "but," added she, "I have prayed
for thee, Peter, that thy faith fail not, and when thou art converted
strengthen thy brethren." And how it was with Moses when the Almighty
appeared to him in a flame of fire in the bush, and that it was not until
the Most High had condescended to answer all Moses' excuses that he was
angry with him, and even then he condescended to let him have Aaron, his
brother, to go with him for a spokesman. Also how it was with Peter when
the threefold charge was given him to feed the lambs and the sheep. "It is
not enough," said she, "to acknowledge that we love the Lord, but there
must be a manifesting of our love by doing whatsoever he may command."
Methinks I still hear her voice, saying, "And O that there may not be a
pleading of excuses, Moses-like!" Thus was this valuable servant enabled
to speak to my comfort and encouragement, which I trust I shall ever
remember to advantage; but O that I may be resigned to wait the appointed
time in watchful humility, patience, and fear! for I find there is a
danger of seeking too much after outward confirmations, and not having the
attention sufficiently fixed on the great Minister of ministers, who alone
is both able and willing to direct the poor mind in this most important
concern, and in his own time to say, "Arise, shine; for thy light is
come."

12 _mo_. 22.--My poor mind has been so much enveloped in clouds of