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Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven by Mark Twain
page 4 of 58 (06%)
heard the like of it before.

We roared and thundered along side by side, both doing our level
best, because I'd never struck a comet before that could lay over
me, and so I was bound to beat this one or break something. I
judged I had some reputation in space, and I calculated to keep it.
I noticed I wasn't gaining as fast, now, as I was before, but still
I was gaining. There was a power of excitement on board the comet.
Upwards of a hundred billion passengers swarmed up from below and
rushed to the side and begun to bet on the race. Of course this
careened her and damaged her speed. My, but wasn't the mate mad!
He jumped at that crowd, with his trumpet in his hand, and sung
out--

"Amidships! amidships, you! {1} or I'll brain the last idiot of
you!"

Well, sir, I gained and gained, little by little, till at last I
went skimming sweetly by the magnificent old conflagration's nose.
By this time the captain of the comet had been rousted out, and he
stood there in the red glare for'ard, by the mate, in his shirt-
sleeves and slippers, his hair all rats' nests and one suspender
hanging, and how sick those two men did look! I just simply
couldn't help putting my thumb to my nose as I glided away and
singing out:

"Ta-ta! ta-ta! Any word to send to your family?"

Peters, it was a mistake. Yes, sir, I've often regretted that--it
was a mistake. You see, the captain had given up the race, but
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