5, 1917. In the 'Charivaria' I saw an article in which you
proclaimed the North Pole to be the only territory that has not
had its neutrality violated by the Huns. I beg to draw your
attention to the South Pole.

"I remain, yours sincerely,

"A WOUNDED TOMMY."

* * * * *

WASHOUT.

We had hardly settled down to Mess when an orderly, armed with a buff
slip, shot through the door, narrowly missed colliding with the soup,
and pulled up by Grigson's chair. Grigson is our Flight Commander--one
of those rugged and impenetrable individuals who seem impervious
to any kind of shock. There is a legend that on one occasion four
machine-gun bullets actually hit him and bounced off, which gave the
imitative Hun the idea of armour-plating his machines.

Grigson took the slip and read, slowly and paraphrastically: "Night
operations. A machine will be detailed to leave the ground at 10:30
pip emma and lay three fresh eggs on the railway-station at ----.
At the special request of the G.O.C.R.F.C., Lieutenant Maude, the
well-known strafer, will oblige. Co-operation by B and C Flights."

Lieutenant Maude, commonly known by a loose association of ideas as
Toddles, buried a heightened complexion in a plate of now tepid soup.
Someone having pulled him out and wiped him down, he was understood