Such, then, being in fact my religious state, you may well believe, my
children, that I was not happy; for it is impossible to be so without
trusting in God, who is the source of supreme good and true peace.
I was assiduous in my occupation; I frequented the society of my
friends; but, my heart empty and incessantly craving after something
which I could not obtain, was never content. My mind, restless and
agitated, could no where find an object to fix and satisfy it.
Listlessness followed me every where, and seemed to increase upon
me. O how unhappy, and how pitiable are those, who are, as was then,
without God, without Christ, without hope in the world!

I was in this wretched state when it pleased God to have pity upon me,
and to cause a ray of light to penetrate my mind. One evening, after
the labours of the day, instead of going as usual to the club which I
frequented, I went alone upon the public walk, where I remained till
the night was far advanced: the moon shone clear and bright: I had
never before been so struck by the magnificence of the heavens, and
I felt unusually disposed to reflection. "No," I said, (after
contemplating for a long time the impressive scene before me,) "no,
nature is not God," (for till then I had entertained this opinion,)
"God is certainly distinct from nature: in all this I can only
recognise a _work_ replete with harmony, order, and beauty. Although I
cannot perceive the Author, whose power, intelligence, and wisdom are
every where so strongly imprinted on it; still, both my reason and my
feeling combine to convince me of his existence."

This conclusion, which I sincerely adopted, was the result of the
reflections in which I had been that evening absorbed.