And I've had the very devil of a time;
I've philandered through Alsatia with the nautch-girl and the geisha;
I have heard the bells of San Marino chime.

I've hobnobbed in Honolulu with the Zouave and the Zulu,
I have fought against the Turks at Spion Kop;
In a spirit of bravado I've accosted the MIKADO
And familiarly addressed him as "Old Top."

I've been captured by banditti, kissed a squaw in Salt Lake City,
Carved my name upon the tomb of LI HUNG CHANG,
And been overcome by toddy where the turbid Irrawaddy
Winds its way from Cincinnati to Penang.

I have crossed the far-famed ferry from Port Said to Pondicherry;
In a droschky shot the rapids at Hongkong;
I have pounded to a jelly dancing dervishes at Delhi,
And I've chased the chimpanzee at Chittagong.

I've smoked baksheesh in pagodas, stood a Dago Scotch-and-sodas,
Scaled the mighty Mississippi's snow-clad peaks,
Galloped madly on a llama through lagoons at Yokohama
And found rubies at Magillicuddy's Reeks.

Where the Tagus joins the Hooghly I have bowled the wily googly,
I have heard the howdah's howl at Hyderabad;
On a rickshaw I've gone sailing, with my boomerang impaling
Hooded cobras on the ice-floes off Bagdad.

I have slain the beri-beri with a ball from my knobkerry;