probably allied trades. How dreadful!

How about _Bobber?_ Does that mean that I should have to shear my
wife's silken tresses? Cousin Phyllis has appeared with a tomboy's
shock of hair, and she says it "has only been bobbed." By a "bobber"?
I would like to wring his neck. But if _Bobber_ has something to do
with those jolly little things that dance about on cotton machines
(aren't they called "bobbins"?) I will consider it.

I have not even finished the "B's." A glance ahead and other
enchanting vistas are revealed. For instance, _Desiccated Soup Maker,
Filbert Grower_ and (simply) _Retired_.

This Schedule is splendid in its way, but why can't they be honest?
They must know that lots of us in our great national army are in
ordinary life just rogues and vagabonds. The Schedule ignores such
honest tradesmen. How is a respectable tramp to know when his group
is called for demobilisation if he is not even given a group? What a
nation of prigs and pretenders we are!

Yours ever, WILLIAM.

* * * * *

_AUTRES TEMPS, AUTRES MOEURS._

My baker gives me chunks of bread--
He used to throw them at my head;
His manners, I rejoice to state,
Have very much improved of late.