the shoals of matrimony, it may be _Werbum Sapienti_, as O'Toole,
the Irish schoolmaster, used to observe, when in the act of applying the
birch to the booby's back.

"Well, sir, having received a grammatical education, and been brought up
as a peruke-maker from my earliest years--besides having seen a deal of
high life, and the world in general, in carrying false curls, bandeaux,
and other artificial head-gear paraphernalia, in bandboxes to boarding
schools, and so on--a desire naturally sprung up within me, being now in
my twenty-first year, and worth a guinea a week of wages, to look about
for what old kind Seignor Fiddle-stringo, the minuet-master, used to
recommend under the title of a _cara sposa_--open shop--and act
head frizzle in an establishment of my own.

"Very good, sir--In the pursuit of this virtuous purpose, I cast a
sheep's eye over the broad face of society, and at length, from a number
of eligible specimens, I selected three, who, whether considered in the
light of natural beauty, or mental accomplishment, struck me forcibly as
suitable coadjutors for a man--for a man like your humble servant."

"A most royal bow that, Mr. Tims. Well, proceed, if you please."

"Very good, sir--well, then, to proceed. The first of these was Miss
Diana Tonkin, a young lady, who kept her brother's snuff-shop, at the
sign of the African astride the Tobacco Barrel--a rare beauty, who was
on the most intimate talking terms with half a hundred young bloods and
beaux, who looked in during lounging hours, being students of law,
physic, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and theatrical understrappers,
to replenish their boxes with Lundyfoot, whiff a Havannah cigar, or
masticate pigtail. No wonder that she was spoiled by flattery, Miss