Diana, for she was a bit of a beauty; and though she had but one eye--by
heavens, what an eye that was!"

"She must have been an irresistible creature, certainly, Mr. Tims,"
said I. "Well, how did you come on?"

"Irresistible! but you shall hear, sir. I foresaw that, in soliciting
the honour of the fair damsel's hand, I should have much opposition to
encounter from the rivalry of the three learned professions, to say
nothing of the gentlemen of the sword and of the buskin; but, thinks
I to myself, 'faint heart never won fair lady,' so I at once set up a
snuff-box, looked as tip-topping as possible, and commenced canvassing.

"The second _elite_ (for I know a _leetle_ French, having for
three months, during my apprenticeship, had the honour of frizling the
head-gear of Count Witruvius de Caucason, who occupied private
state-lodgings at the sign of the Blue Boar in the Poultry, and who
afterwards decamped without clearing scores)--the second _elite_
(for I make a point, sir, of having two strings to my bow) was Mrs. Joan
Sweetbread, a person of exquisite parts, but fiery temper, at that time
aged thirty-three, twelve stone weight, head cook and housekeeper to Sir
Anthony Macturk, a Scotch baronet, who rusticated in the vicinity of
town. I made her a few evening visits, and we talked love affairs over
muffins and a cup of excellent congou. Then what a variety of jams and
jellies! I never returned without a disordered stomach, and wishing
Highland heather-honey at the devil. Yet, after all, to prove a
hoax!--for even when I was on the point of popping the question, and had
fastened my silk Jem Belcher with a knowing _leetle_ knot to set
out for that purpose, I learned from Francie, the stable-boy, that she
had the evening before eloped with the coachman, and returned to her