"The Commissioners of H.M. Works, &c., are prepared to
receive tenders for the supply of:

(a) Floor polish during a period of six or 12 months from
1st August, 1917.

(b) Arm chairs."--_Daily Telegraph_.

* * * * *

From an interview with an eminent playwright regarding a new farce:--

"Has my face a war object? Certainly it has, a very
definite though an indirect one."--_Liverpool Echo_.

If it hadn't been so old a joke, we should have guessed that the
author has a strong cast in his eye.

* * * * *

"A Chaplain Wanted, for private chapel in the Highlands. There
is plenty of stalking for a good shot, also there is fishing,
shooting, and golf. A chaplain is wanted who can drive a
motor-car. Terms £1, travelling expenses are paid, and there
are rooms provided."--_Daily Telegraph_.

Yet there are still people who write to the newspapers demanding
"Liberty for the Church."

* * * * *