[Illustration: LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: ITS DISTURBING INFLUENCE.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mother_. "OH, MARY, WHY DO YOU WIPE YOUR MOUTH WITH
THE BACK OF YOUR HAND?"

_Mary_. "'COS IT'S SO MUCH CLEANER THAN THE FRONT."]

* * * * *

"SHIPS THAT PASS IN THE NIGHT."

I, who before these lines appear (or don't)
Must face the Board reviewing my diseases,
Am fluttered, as the sentient soul is wont,
Thinking how rum the case of me and these is;
We'll come together--just because it pleases
Some higher Pow'r--and then for ever part.
Not having learnt each other's views on Art,
Nor in our only chat got really heart to heart.

They'll sound _my_ heart, it's true, but in a way ...
Perhaps they'll ask me if I've had enteric;
But can I tell them that I've writ a play
And have a nephew who is atmospheric?
Or that my people meant me for a cleric
(But Satan didn't)? or even that I shan't
Be left much money by my maiden aunt?--