_Sergt._ Well, no, Sir--you see the men won't do anything.

_Capt._ Under those circumstances, I suppose I have only to give the
usual words of command. Company, attention! Right turn--dismiss!

[They dismiss.


SCENE II.--BEFORE THE ENEMY. PRESENT--NO. 1 COMPANY AWAITING ORDERS
TO ADVANCE.

_Captain_.--Now, my men, all you have to do is to keep your heads, and
obey orders. Attention! Fix Bayonets!

_Subaltern_. Sorry to say, Sir, they have paraded without bayonets.

_Capt._ Well, that's to be regretted; although they are small enough
nowadays, in all conscience! Fire a volley! At a thousand yards!
Ready!

_Sub._ Very sorry. Sir, but the men forgot to bring their ammunition.

_Capt._--Come, this is getting serious! Here's the Cavalry preparing
to charge, and we are useless! Must move 'em off! Right turn!

_Sergeant_. Please, Sir, the Company's a bit rusty, and don't know
their right hands from their left.

_Capt._ (_losing his temper_). Confound it! They don't, don't
they! Well, hang it all, I suppose they will understand this? (_To