expectance or confidence left, and are, as it were,
at our wits' end; it is then that His own arm brings
salvation, that He says, "Stand still, and see the salvation
of God; for the Lord shall fight for you, and ye
shall hold your peace." Oh, how great the condescension
which has given me a glimpse of "so great
salvation"! But I have remarked that it never has
been in answer to any questionings or searchings of
my own. Some great perplexities I have had lately,
being so unable to satisfy myself how far religion or
its duties should be the act of ourselves--so confused
about prayer, etc. Difficulties, hardly capable to be put
into words, put me in real distress; but the good seems
to be _revealed_, if I may use such a word, to another
part of me; or, as I. Pennington would say, "to
_another eye_ and _ear_ than those which are so curious
to learn." The Lord grant that I may at last become
an obedient and truly teachable child; for that faculty,
whatsoever it be, that asks vociferously, seems not to
be the one which, as I.P. says, "_graspingly receives,"_
but is rather a hinderance to its reception.

_10th Mo. 14th_. Outwardly, the chief variety in my
experience has been an interesting visit with my
mother at Kingsbridge and Totness. A solitary walk
in the garden at Totness, on First-day afternoon, I
think I can never forget. No sunshine--though not
mere darkness--was upon me during nearly all the
week: yet I wondered to find that at Kingsbridge,
though visiting was a constant self-denial, in withdrawing