me from the earnest search in which I was
engaged, I got on more easily than common, and felt
much more love than usual to my friends. The first
gleam of sunshine did not come through any man's
help, but in my lone matin the day after our return.
I tried to cast my care on God, and on Seventh-day
morning was favored with a blessed evidence that He
did care for me. Since then it has not been repeated;
but earnest have been my cries in secret to my heavenly
Father, whose mercies indeed are great; and
my lonely hours have been employed mostly in seeking
Him, having little taste for reading of any general
kind. One morning in particular, at Trevelmond, in
the plantation, waiting for my father, was my heart
poured out to God. Calmness has often succeeded;
and then I dread the coming of indifference and coolness.
Oh, this is surely the worst of states! I had
rather endure almost any amount of anguish.

Yesterday, the probability that my course on earth
may be short occurred forcibly. I recurred to the
words quoted by J.T., "The sting of death is sin,"
with encouragement to hope for "the victory." However,
the future is not my care. May I be the care
of Him whose care the future is, and then----

_10th Mo. 22d_. At home with a cold, and may
just record my poor spirit's lowness and poverty
amid, as I trust, its honest desires to become wholly
the Lord's. "Ye ask, and have not, because ye ask