* * * * *

THE BETTER THE DAY, THE BETTER THE TALK!

SCENE--_Any fashionable Watering Place where "Church Parade"
is a recognised institution. TIME--Sunday, 1 P.M. Enter
BROWN and Mrs. BROWN, who take chairs._

_Mrs. Brown_. Good Gracious! Look another way! Those odious people,
the STIGGINGSES, are coming towards us!

_Brown_. Why odious? I think the girls rather nice.

_Mrs. B._ (_contemptuously_). Oh, _you_ would, because men are so
easily taken in! Nice, indeed! Why, here's Major BUTTONS.

_B._ (_moving his head sharply to the right_). Don't see him! Can't
stand the fellow! I always avoid him at the Club!

_Mrs. B._ Why? Soldiers are always such pleasant men.

_B._ (_contemptuously_). BUTTONS a soldier! Years ago he was a
Lieutenant in a marching regiment, and now holds honorary rank in the
Volunteers! Soldier, indeed! Bless me! here's Mrs. FITZ-FLUMMERY--mind
you don't cut her.

_Mrs. B._ Yes, I shall; the woman is insupportable. Did you ever see
_such_ a dress? And she has changed the colour of her hair--again!

_B._ Whether she has or hasn't, she looks particularly pleasing.