Very glad to have met you, I'm sure, and a better bit of building than
yours yonder I haven't seen for some time. Seems a pity, hanged if
it don't, that you should have to put yourself to such an additional
outlay--ah, by the way, _what_ did you say it would cost you?

_Builder_. Oh, about ten pounds, I suppose.

_Surveyor_ (_lighting another cigar_). Humph! (_Puff'
puff!_) Pity--pity! (_Puff! puff!_) Now look here, my
boy--(_confidentially_)--suppose you and me just divide that
tenner between us, five to you, and five to me; and, as to the
"underpinning"--well, nobody'll be a bit the wiser, and the building
won't be a halfpenny the worse, _I'll_ bet my boots. Come, is it a
bargain?

[_After a little beating about the bush, the little "job" is
arranged amicably, on the practical basis of "a fiver each,
and mum's the word on both sides," thus evading the law,
saving the Builder a few pounds, and supplementing the
salary of the Surveyor. Ulterior results, unsanitary or
otherwise, do not come within the compass of this sketch._

* * * * *

STRANGER THAN FICTION!

(_POSTMARKS--LEEDS, HULL, AND ELSEWHERE._)

Mr. Punch was assisting at a Congress. The large room in which that
Congress was being held was crowded, and consequently the heat was