_THE DAILY EXPRESS_.--You can sleep soundly in your bed, you can sleep
soundly in your train, if the current issue of _The Daily Express_
be on your person. All purchasers are insured for £10,000 against any
conflagrations or explosions caused by bombs or combustibles dropped
from German airships.

_THE BRITISH WEEKLY_.--All readers of _The British Weekly_ are insured
for £1,000 in the event of heart-failure caused by shock while reading
the thrilling stories provided by SILAS, JOSEPH, TIMOTHY and JEREMIAH
HOCKING.

_THE RECORD_.--£500 will be paid to any annual subscriber forcibly
detained in a convent, provided that at the time of such detention a
copy of the current issue of _The Record_ be in his possession. £1,000
will be paid to the legal representatives of any reader burnt at the
stake.

_THE CRICCIETH CHRONICLE_.--£3 a week for life, together with a
poultry farm on a Sutherland deer-forest, to the owner of any shorn
lamb which is found dead in a snow-drift with a copy of the current
issue wrapt round it, to keep it warm.

* * * * *

The great world rolls on, but of the master-brains which direct its
movement the man in the street knows nothing. He has never heard
of the Clerk of the Portland Urban District Council; he is entirely
ignorant of Army Order 701.

"Dear Sir" (writes the Clerk)--"A meeting of the Underhill