through the room upstairs, and how do you know whose room it is?

There, Gladys, if you follow these rules I think you can play the
game of bridge whist without putting a bruise on the Monroe
doctrine.

P.S.--When you play for money always bite the coin to see if it
means as much as it looks.


The next day, in order to square myself with my wife for getting a
letter I hadn't any use for, I went to one of those New York
department stores to get her a birthday present.

Say! did you ever get tangled up in one of those department store
mobs and have a crowd of perfect ladies use you for a door mat?

I got mine!

They certainly taught me the Rojestvensky glide, all right!

At the door of the department; store a nice young man with a pink
necktie and a quick forehead bowed to me.

"What do you wish?" he asked.

"Well," I said; "I'm down here to get a birthday present for my
wife. I would like something which would afford her great pleasure
when I give it to her and which I could use afterwards as a
pen-wiper or a fishing-rod."