"Second floor; to the right; take the elevator," said the man.

Did you ever try to take an elevator in a department store and find
that 3,943 other American citizens and citizenettes were also
trying to take the same elevator?

How sweet it is to mingle in the arms of utter strangers and to
feel the gentle pressure of a foot we never hope to meet again!

I was standing by one of the counters on the second floor when a
shrill voice crept up over a few bales of dry goods and said, "Are
you a buyer or a handler?"

"I am looking for a birthday present for my wife," I answered. "I
want to get something that will look swell on the parlor table and
may, be used later on as a tobacco jar or a trouser stretcher!"

"Fourth floor; to the left; take the elevator!" said the lady's
voice.

With bowed bead I walked away.

I began to feel sorry for my wife.

Nobody seemed to be very much interested whether she got a birthday
present or not.

On the fourth floor I stopped at a counter where a lot of eager
dames were pawing over some chinchilla ribbon and chiffon