ALICE IN BLUNDERLAND.

(_ON THE NINTH OF NOVEMBER._)

["Our difficulties are such as these--that America has
instituted a vast system of prohibitive tariffs, mainly,
I believe, because ... American pigs do not receive proper
treatment at the hands of Europe.... If we have any difficulty
with our good neighbours in France, it is because of
that unintelligent animal the lobster; and if we have any
difficulty with our good neighbours in America, it is because
of that not very much nobler animal, the seal."--_Lord
Salisbury at the Mansion House_.]

The Real Turtle sang this, very slowly, and sadly:--

"We are getting quite important," said the Porker to the Seal,
"For we're 'European Questions,' as a Premier seems to feel.
See the 'unintelligent' Lobster, even he, makes an advance!
Oh, we lead the Politicians of the earth a pretty dance.
Will you, won't you, Yankee Doodle, England, and gay France.
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, let _us_ lead the dance?

"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be,
When they take _us_ up as matters of the High Diplomacee."
But the Seal replied, "They brain us!" and he gave a look askance
At the goggle-eyed mailed Lobster, who was loved (and boiled) by France.
"Would they, could they, would they, could they, give us half a chance?
Lobsters, Pigs, and Seals all suffer, Commerce to advance!"