"Why, how can we?" asked the "white ribboner."

"Well," was the reply, "after the first taste of wine the ship takes
to water and sticks to it ever after."



_It Was His Privilege_

As an express train was going through a station, says "Tit-Bits," one
of the passengers leaned too far out of the window, overbalanced and
fell out. He fortunately landed on a sand heap, so that he did
himself no great injury, but, with torn clothes and not a few
bruises, said to a porter who was standing by:

"What shall I do?"

"You're all right, mister," said the porter. "Your ticket allows you
to stop off."



_Still Hopeful_

"Well, Jimmy," said his employer, "I don't see how you are going to
get out to any ball-games this season; your grandmother died four
times last summer."

"Oh, yes, I can, sir," answered Jimmy. "Grandpapa has married again,
although it was very much against the wishes of the family."