_He Thought She Ought to Know It_

"No, I haven't anything for you today. You are the man I gave some
pie to a fortnight ago?"

"Yis, lidy, thank you; I come back because I thought p'r'aps you'd
like to know I'm able to get about again."



_A Possible Substitute_

"What have you in the shape of cucumbers this morning?" asked the
customer of the new grocery clerk.

"Nothing but bananas, ma'am," was the reply.



_One on the Preachers_

The preachers in a certain coast town noted for its Sabbath
observance were greatly incensed over the fact that printed cards
bearing the name of a well-known shipbuilding firm had been received
by prominent citizens, inviting them to attend the launching of a
vessel on the next Sunday afternoon, the reason being given that the
tide was highest on that day.