"Son," said the drummer impressively, "I am a doctor, and if that man
doesn't stop snoring he'll die of apoplexy. Watch your chance, and
as soon as his mouth opens a little wider, lean over and squeeze this
lemon into it."



_He Knew Only One_

A teacher had been telling her class of boys that recently worms had
become so numerous that they destroyed the crops, and it was
necessary to import the English sparrow to exterminate them. The
sparrows multiplied very fast and were gradually driving away our
native birds.

Johnny was apparently very inattentive, and the teacher, thinking to
catch him napping, said;

"Johnny, which is worse, to have worms or sparrows?"

Johnny hesitated a moment and then replied:

"Please, I never had the sparrows."



_He Proved It Was Logical_

A lawyer was defending a man accused of housebreaking, and said to
the court: