the newel-post. It looked as though his back was broken, and that he
was a dead small boy, but he gathered himself up, thrust his hands
anxiously in his trousers' pockets, and ejaculated;

"B' gosh, I b'l'eve I lost a cent."



_Her First Railroad Ride_

An old lady in Missouri took her first railroad trip last week, says
"The Butter Democrat." She noticed the bell-cord overhead, and,
turning to a boy, she said: "Sonny, what's that for?" "That, marm,"
he said, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "is to ring the bell
when you want something to eat."

Shortly afterward the old lady reached her umbrella up to the cord and
gave it a vigorous pull. The train was in the middle of a trestle.
The whistle sounded, the brakes were pulled on, the train began to
slacken its speed, windows were thrown up, questions asked, and
confusion reigned among the passengers. The old lady sat calmly
through it all.

Presently the conductor came running through the train and asked: "Who
pulled the bell?"

"I did," replied the old lady meekly.

"Well, what do you want?" asked the conductor impatiently.