"Well," said the old lady meditatively, "you may bring me a ham
sandwich and a cup of tea, please."



_The Parson and the "Light"_

A parson had had a call from a little country parish to a large and
wealthy one in a big city. He asked time for prayer and
consideration. He did not feel sure of his light. A month passed.
Some one met hie youngest son. "How is it, Josiah; is your father
going to B------?"

"Well," answered the youngster judicially, "paw is still prayin' for
light, but most of the things is packed."



_Turn About is Fair Play_

Last Christmas a middle-aged tinplate-worker married a widow whose
acquaintance he had made but a few weeks before while working some
little distance away from home.

"Sarrah," he said nervously, after the guests had departed, "I 'ave a
weddin' present for ye."

"What is it, John?" said Sarrah with a smirk.

"I 'ope ye won't be 'fended, Sarrah," said John, more agitated than