"Well, doctor," said the patient who was an incessant talker, "why in
the world don't you look at my tongue, if you want to, instead of
writing away like a newspaper editor? How long do you expect I am
going to sit here with my mouth wide open?"

"Just one moment more, please, madam," replied the doctor; "I only
wanted you to keep still long enough so that I could write this
prescription."



_He Got the Information_

At a country fair a machine which bore a sign reading, "How to Make
Your Trousers Last," occupied a prominent position in the grounds and
attracted much attention, says "Harper's Weekly." A countryman who
stood gaping before it was told by the exhibitor, a person with a long
black mustache, a minstrel-stripe shirt, and a ninety-four-carat
diamond in a red cravat, that for one cent deposited in the slot the
machine would dispense its valuable sartorial advice. The countryman
dug the required coin from the depths of a deep pocket and dropped it
in the slot. Instantly the machine delivered a card on which was
neatly printed:

"Make your coat and waistcoat first."



_After Many Trials_