He WAS a sad-faced American tourist, and as he seated himself in a
London restaurant he was immediately attended by an obsequious waiter.

"I want two eggs," said the American--"one fried on one side and one
on the other."

"'Ow is that, sir ?" asked the astounded waiter.

"Two eggs--one fried on one side and one on the other."

"Very well, sir."

The waiter was gone several minutes, and when he returned his face was
a study.

"Would you please repeat your border, sir?"

"I said, very distinctly, two eggs--one fried on one side and one on
the other."

Oppressive silence, and then a dazed "Very well, sir."

This time he was gone longer, and when he returned he said anxiously:

"Would it be awsking too much, sir, to 'ave you repeat your border,
sir? I cawn't think I 'ave it right, sir, y'know."

"Two eggs," said the American sadly and patiently--"one fried on one
side and one on the other."