_He Had Faith in the Doctor_

A young English laborer went to the register's office to record his
father's death. The register asked the date of death.

"Well, father ain't dead yet," was the reply; "but he will be dead
before morning, and I thought it would save me another trip if you
would put it down now."

"Oh, that won't do at all," said the register. "Why, your father may
be well before morning."

"Ah, no, he won't," said the young laborer. "Our doctor says he
won't, and he knows what he's given father."



_What He Used the Milk For_

A clergyman had been for some time displeased with the quality of milk
served him. At length he determined to remonstrate with his milkman
for supplying such weak stuff. He began mildly:

"I've been wanting to see you in regard to the quality of milk with
which you are serving me."

"Yes, sir," uneasily answered the tradesman.