"I only wanted to say," continued the minister, "that I use the milk
for drinking purposes exclusively, and not for christening."



_Nothing if Not Polite_

An interested visitor who was making the final call in the tenement
district, rising, said:

"Well, my good woman, I must go now. Is there anything I can do for
you?"

"No, thank ye, mem," replied the submerged one. "Ye mustn't mind it
if I don't return the call, will ye? I haven't any time to go slummm'
meself."



_Her Little Game_

As a married couple were walking down one of the main thoroughfares of
a city the husband noted the attention which other women obtained from
passers-by, and remarked to his better half:

"Folks never look at you. I wish I had married some one better
looking."

The woman tartly replied: "It's your fault. Do you think a man will