_Tweedledum or Tweedledee_

Joseph Chamberlain was the guest of honor at a dinner in an important
city. The Mayor presided, and when coffee was being served the Mayor
leaned over and touched Mr. Chamberlain, saying, "Shall we let the
people enjoy themselves a little longer, or had we better have your
speech now?"



_It Was Mary's Own Idea_

"Did you mail my letter, Mary?" asked her mistress. "It was an
important one, you know."

"Yis, mum, indeed I did."

"But why have you brought back the two cents I gave you for the stamp?"

"Sure, I didn't have to use it, mum," replied Mary. "I slipped th'
letther into th' box whin nobody was lukin'."



_He Couldn't Very Well_

A husband was being arraigned in court in a suit brought by his wife