New York Tribune." In the course of the conversation President Eliot
asked the Westerner what chair he held.

"Well," said Professor Johnson, "I am professor of biology, but I
also give instruction in meteorology, botany, physiology, chemistry,
entomology and a few others."

"I should say that you occupied a whole settee, not a chair," replied
Harvard's chief.



_When Fighting Really Began_

An aged, gray-haired and very wrinkled old woman, arrayed in the
outlandish calico costume of the mountains, was summoned as a witness
in court to tell what she knew about a fight in her house. She took
the witness-stand with evidences of backwardness and proverbial
Bourbon verdancy. The Judge asked her in a kindly voice what took
place. She insisted it did not amount to much, but the Judge by his
persistency finally got her to tell the story of the bloody fracas.

"Now, I tell ye, Jedge, it didn't amount to nuthn'. The fust I
knowed about it was when Bill Saunder called Tom Smith a liar, en Tom
knocked him down with a stick o' wood. One o' Bill's friends then
cut Tom with a knife, slicin' a big chunk out o' him. Then Sam
Jones, who was a friend of Tom's, shot the other feller and two more
shot him, en three or four others got cut right smart by somebody.
That nachly caused some excitement, Jedge, en then they commenced
fightin'."