_The Wrong Kind of a Baby_

In a certain home where the stork recently visited there is a
six-year-old son of inquiring mind. When he was first taken in to
see the new arrival he exclaimed:

"Oh, mamma, it hasn't any teeth! And no hair!" Then, clasping his
hands in despair, he cried: "Somebody has done us! It's an old baby."



_A Poser for the Salesman_

"It's not so much a durable article that I require, sir," said Miss
Simpkins. "I want something dainty, you know; something coy, and at
the same time just a wee bit saucy--that might look well for evening
wear."



_Not in the Army, After All_

A Methodist negro exhorter shouted: "Come up en jine de army ob de
Lohd."

"Ise done jined," replied one of the congregation.