floor."



_One on the President_

When the President alighted at Red Hill, Virginia, a few months ago,
to see his wife's new cottage, he noticed that an elderly woman was
about to board the train, and, with his usual courtesy, he rushed
forward to assist her. That done, he grasped her hand and gyve it an
"executive shake." This was going too far, and the woman, snatching
her hand away and eying him wrathfully, exclaimed: "Young man, I
don't know who you are, and I don't care a cent; but I must say you
are the freshest somebody I've ever seen in these parts."



_No Doubt of it_

The lesson was from the "Prodigal Son," and the Sunday-school teacher
was dwelling on the character of the elder brother. "But amidst all
the rejoicing," he said, "there was one to whom the preparation of
the feast brought no joy, to whom the prodigal's return gave no
pleasure, but only bitterness; one who did not approve of the feast
being held, and had no wish to attend it. Now can any of you tell
who this was?" There was a short silence, followed by a vigorous
cracking of thumbs, and then from a dozen little mouths came the
chorus: "Please, sir, it was the fatted calf."