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[Illustration: OUR BORES, NATIVE AND FOREIGN.

"ACH! I SCHBEAGUE ENKLISH NOT VELL, NOT VELL AT ALL! POT, PY A LEADLE
BRACTICE, I IMBROVE VER KVK K! VAIT TILL I HAF TALK TO YOU FOR A
GOPPLE OF HOURS, AND YOU SHALL SEE!"]

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ROBERT AT THE ACADEMY.

Witsuntide being a rayther slack time with us Hed Waiters, coz our
principle paytrons is all out of Town, I naterally slected that week
for my annewal yearly wisit to the Royal Academy. I never coud quite
hunderstand why it was called a Academy, which I bleeves is a rayther
swell name for a Skool, but I hadn't bin there long larst week afore
I soon dishcovered the reason. In course it stands to reason that
lots of the werry wust of the bad picturs is the work of werry young
pupils, who haven't yet left skool, so that's why they calls it a
Academy insted of a Hinstitooshun or a Hexebishun.

The fust thing as struck me wos the emense number of portraits of
peeple as noboddy never heard of, and therefore didn't want for to
see, and I wunders how the poor peeple woud like for to be obliged to
wark about the rooms and hear the fun as the peeple makes on 'em. One
on 'em looks so werry cross, that a Gent by me said as how he must ha'
bin taken when the bad news came from India. Another looks so savage,
that amost everybody asks him why he don't have it out and done with
it! Another werry savage sojer looked at me as much as to say, "What