_Typical British Father_. Well, I call it downright bloomin' robbery.
It's more. It's a invasion of the sacred rights of the British
working man's domestic home. It's a infringement of the liberty of the
subject, that's wot it is. It's a teaching the young 'uns rebellion
against their natural protectors. It's a bloomin' shame!

[Government Inspector _leads them off delighted_. Typical
British Father _left swearing_.

* * * * *

UNSELFISH HELP BY SMILES.--"Dr. QUAIN's advice to doctors," says
Mr. JAMES PAYN in the _Illustrated London News_, "always 'to look
cheerful,' ought to be written in letters of gold." So it is: in
notes, or cheques. When the eminent novelist has to send for Dr.
QUAIN, the latter will beam on him, and tell him a good story. The
labour he delights in will "physic PAYN."

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE EGOISM OF GENIUS.

_Fond Mother_. "DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE THE EVENING PAPERS, MORTIMER?"

_Minimus Poet_. "WHY, IS THERE ANYTHING ABOUT _ME_ IN THEM?"

_Fond Mother_. "NOT THAT I KNOW OF, DARLING."

_Minimus Poet_ (_pettishly_). "GOOD HEAVENS, MOTHER, THEN WHAT ON
EARTH SHOULD I WANT TO _SEE_ THEM FOR?"]