Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3 - Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in Women by Havelock Ellis
page 79 of 545 (14%)
page 79 of 545 (14%)
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purposive, and elaborate means of self-exhibition in the adult
male and the charming coquetry in the adult female, in their love-relations." (Sanford Bell, "The Emotion of Love Between the Sexes," _American Journal Psychology_, July, 1902; cf. "Showing-off and Bashfulness," _Pedagogical Seminary_, June, 1903.) If, in the light of the previous discussion, we examine such facts as those here collected, we may easily trace throughout the perpetual operations of the same instinct. It is everywhere the instinctive object of the male, who is very rarely passive in the process of courtship, to assure by his activity in display, his energy or skill or beauty, both his own passion and the passion of the female. Throughout nature sexual conjugation only takes place after much expenditure of energy.[34] We are deceived by what we see among highly fed domesticated animals, and among the lazy classes of human society, whose sexual instincts are at once both unnaturally stimulated and unnaturally repressed, when we imagine that the instinct of detumescence is normally ever craving to be satisfied, and that throughout nature it can always be set off at a touch whenever the stimulus is applied. So far from the instinct of tumescence naturally needing to be crushed, it needs, on the contrary, in either sex to be submitted to the most elaborate and prolonged processes in order to bring about those conditions which detumescence relieves. A state of tumescence is not normally constant, and tumescence must be obtained before detumescence is possible.[35] The whole object of courtship, of the mutual approximation and caresses of two persons of the opposite sex, is to create the state of sexual tumescence. It will be seen that the most usual method of attaining tumescence--a method found among the most various kinds of animals, from insects and |
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