the pie overboard and steam rapidly away from it advised the
starboard ensign not so not so cried the captain yon gallant
cockroach must not perish so gratitude is a tradition of the british
navy i would sooner perish with him than desert him all the time the
strain was getting worse on me if my feet slipped the clock would
start again and all would be lost beads of sweat rolled down my
forehead and almost blinded me something must be done quick said the
first assistant captain the insect is losing his rigidity wait said
the surgeon and gave me a hypodermic of some powerful east indian
drug which stiffened me like a cataleptic but i could still see and
hear for days and days a council of war was held about me every
afternoon and wireless reports sent to london save the cockroach
even if you lose the ship wirelessed the admiralty england must
stand by the smaller nations and every hour the surgeon gave me
another hypodermic at the end of four weeks the cabin boy who had
been thinking deeply all the time suggested that a plug of wood be
inserted in my place which was done and i fell to the deck well nigh
exhausted the next day i was set on shore in the captains gig and
here i am.

archy

So far as I know, America has made just two entirely original
contributions to the world's types of literary and dramatic art. These
are the humorous colyum and the burlesque show. The saline and robust
repartee of the burlicue is ancient enough in essence, but it is
compounded into a new and uniquely American mode, joyously flavoured
with Broadway garlic. The newspaper colyum, too, is a native product.
Whether Ben Franklin or Eugene Field invented it, it bears the image and
superscription of America.