thoughts concerning it.

In a conversation some days since with a person of piety, he told me
the spiritual life was a life of grace, which begins with servile
fear, which is increased by hope of eternal life, and which is
consummated by pure love. That each of these states had its different
stages, by which one arrives at last at that blessed consummation.

I have not followed all these methods. On the contrary, from I know
not what instincts, I found they discouraged me. This was the reason
why, at my entrance into religion, I took a resolution to give myself
up to GOD, as the best return I could make for His love; and, for the
love of Him, to renounce all besides.

For the first year I commonly employed myself during the time set
apart for devotion with the thought of death, judgment, heaven, hell,
and my sins, Thus continued some years, applying my mind carefully the
rest of the day, and even in the midst of my business, _to the
presence of_ GOD, whom I considered always as _with_ me, often as _in_
me.

At length I came insensibly to do the same thing during my set time of
prayer, which caused in me great delight and consolation. This
practice produced in me so high an esteem for GOD, that _faith_ alone
was capable to satisfy me in that point.[3]

Such was my beginning; and yet I must tell you that for the first ten
years I suffered much: the apprehension that I was not devoted to GOD
as I wished to be, my past sins always present to my mind, and the
great unmerited favors which GOD did me, were the matter and source of