Horrible!

I pray to God and tremble. God will not abandon me.

* * * * *

Rome bores me; Nice is my beloved country. I see Rome, Paris,
London, kings, courts, but there is nothing so pretty as my dear
villa. If ever I am rich, titled, and happy, I shall not forget it.
I shall spend several months of the year there! no, several
months--I could not do that, for everywhere, except in London,
winter is the principal season.

We went to the photographer, S----'s, to tell him that I would come
to pose on Monday. I saw there a number of portraits of people I
know. While looking at L----, his wife, and L---- D----, it seemed
as if he were going to bow to me. Then a bewitching woman with big,
deep eyes, and heavy eyebrows above a straight nose. She resembles
R----. Dina says it is she. But no, she has not that round chin with
a dimple, and those magnificent eyes. No, it can't be, she is not so
beautiful.

Then to the Pincio, then to a milliner to order a Marie Stuart cap,
and a Marie Antoinette turban. The woman showed me a gown she was
making for a ball at the Quirinal, day after to-morrow.

This plunges me into inconceivable torture. If you knew how I dread
spending the Carnival without a single amusement! We found the
ambassadress's card at our home, so she has returned the visit. It
is rather late, all the same. Her cousin came at dinner time. The