_Sub._ Oh, don't you see? Why, the point is, you are not a bit like
it-not a scrap like it! Next week I shall write and say that
it's rubbish to call you a turncoat, because you have always been
consistent.

_Lead._ (_anxiously_). But _is_ anybody calling me a turncoat?

_Sub._ Not that I know of, but they might, don't you see. So it's as
well to be on the safe side. I shall say that, if any one _did_ call
you a turncoat, that the speaker would prove himself a liar! That
ought to give you a leg up, oughtn't it?

_Lead._ (_with some hesitation_). My dear friend, you are _most_ kind;
but if you don't mind, I would be so immensely obliged if you would
leave my interests alone.

_Sub._ (_with great cordiality_). What, leave your interests alone!
Never! You may be always sure of _my_ hearty support!

_Lead._ (_earnestly_). But as a personal matter, I must beg of you
kindly to leave me alone.

_Sub._ (_reluctantly_). Well, of course, if you make it a personal
matter, I must consent. But the Party will suffer.

_Lead._ (_dryly_). Possibly--from your point of view. [_Exeunt._

* * * * *

JAWFUL NEWS!--_The Diminution of the Jaw in the Civilised Races_ is