EXETER, married Miss SARAH HOGGINS under the name of JOHN JONES, having a
wife alive at the time, and she did not die as the poem relates. It is
obvious then that TENNYSON must be re-written, and we offer his Lordship
the following humble suggestions. _The Lord of Burleigh_ should
henceforward run somewhat as follows:--

Quoth he, "Gentle SARAH HOGGINS,"
Speaking in seductive tones,
"You must wed no HODGE or SCROGGINS,
But espouse your own J. JONES."
Oh! he was an artful party,
And that marriage was a crime.
He'd a wife alive and hearty,
Though she'd left him for a time.

The above discovery has, of course, led to doubts regarding other
Tennysonian heroines. Was Lady CLARA VERE DE VERE, for example, as black as
the poet has painted her? Perish the thought! Here are a couple of specimen
stanzas for an amended version:--

Lady CLARA VERE DE VERE,
I vow that you were not a flirt,
The daughter of a hundred Earls
Would not a single creature hurt.
"Kind hearts are more than coronets,"
What abject twaddle, on my word;
And then the joke is in the end,--
We know they made the bard a Lord.

The tale of how young LAURENCE died,