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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 100, May 2, 1891 by Various
page 21 of 44 (47%)
request, would not the proceeding savour of collusion? To meet this
obstacle I came to the conclusion that I might get my Wife to pay
a visit to her mother, and then, appropriately disguised, seize and
carry her off. By locking her in the conveyance and riding on the box,
I could preserve my incognito until reaching home, and then I might
confine her in her own room with assumed harshness, and possibly (of
this I had some doubt) get her to complain of her imprisonment. By
keeping my Wife's domicile a close secret, her mother would be induced
to visit me to ask my professional assistance in recovering her
daughter. Thus approached it would be possible to so advise the old
lady that in the result she would demand my Wife's presence in Court
under a writ of _habeas corpus_. Then would come my opportunity.
Of course I would produce my Wife, and having carefully prepared my
arguments, would deliver an oration that would fill columns of the
newspapers, and hand down my name to generations to come as _the_
authority on marital rights. I saw in the near future wealth and
restored domestic happiness. But the first thing to do was to lock
up my Wife. And at this point it occurred to me that it was time for
me to walk over to the Revision Court. I hastily gathered certain
necessary articles into my brief-bag, and putting on my hat, grasped
the handle of the door. To my surprise I found that I could obtain no
egress. I rang the bell--and instead of a servant my Wife answered the
summons. "The door is locked, dear," I observed, "and as the key seems
to be on the other side, will you kindly open it, as I am in a hurry
to be off."

"You will stay where you are," was the reply. "You are not going to
get killed by attending a nonsensical Revision Court."

"But I must go," I explained; and then assuming a tone of authority I
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