Fair INDIA plucketh the opiate head.
JOHN BULL says. "My dear, PEASE's tales make me creep.
He swears it, fills graves with 'pigtails,' who seek sleep!"
Fair INDIA replies, "That may possibly be;
But they Revenue bring, some Six Millions, you see!
Turn me out if you will, smash the Trade if you must;
But--you'll make up the money somehow, Sir, I trust!"

* * * * *

[Illustration: WANTED--A LOCAL HABITATION.

(_Commended by Mr. Punch to the Patrons of British Art._)

_English Art_ (_to Sir James L-nt-n, Messrs. T-te and Agn-w_), "NOW,
GENTLEMEN, THE GOVERNMENT HAS GIVEN THE SITE FOR MY HOUSE,--IT ONLY
REMAINS FOR YOU TO BUILD IT."

[The CHANCELLOR of the EXCHEQUER announced that the Government had
assigned a site for the new Gallery of Modern Art, as he thought it
would be unwise to risk the failure of the gift of £80,000 which had
been offered to erect a building.]]

* * * * *

SOMEBODY'S LUGGAGE.

In view of the intense public excitement aroused by the statement that
Lord RANDOLPH CHURCHILL, in his expedition to Mashonaland, is only
going to take two books with him--SHAKSPEARE and MOLIÈRE--an Inquiring