_First Em. Pol._ Why they increased our recruiting awfully. Fellows
went to the Royal Naval Exhibition and saw all sorts of good
things, automatic weighing machine, a fishing-smack, and Nelson
wax-works--and--and that kind of thing you know, and joined the Navy!
Precious good thing for the Service, I can tell you.

_Second Em. Pol._ Well, to go back to an old story--you can't defend
the bullying on board _The Britannia_.

_First Em. Pol._ Oh, that's all bosh. Those newspaper fellows got
hold of it for the Silly Season and ran it to death, but it's the best
possible place in the world. No end of good training for a fellow to
command other fellows.

_Second Em. Pol._ Well, they were down upon you pretty smartly.

_First Em. Pol._ (_airily_). May be. But it's because they didn't know
what they were writing about. How can a fellow become a good naval
officer unless he has been robbed of his pocket-money, and taught how
to lie for his seniors. Thing's too ridiculous! Hallo, JIMMY, they
tell me things are in a dreadful mess at St. Martin's-le-Grand!

_Third Em. Pol._ (_promptly_). Then they tell you wrong. Never saw
anything like it--most perfect organisation in the world! Absolutely
marvellous, Sir--absolutely marvellous! And the clerks so civil and
obliging. Everybody pleased with them.

_Second Em. Pol._ Come, that won't do. Your statement is as hard to
digest as too-previous turkey and premature plum-pudding. The papers
are full of complaints all through the Autumn, and have only stopped