"Very well, I'll bring him here; but, recollect, it's a very sore
subject with him," replied I, "and that you may have a sharp answer."

"That I'll take my chance of, Jack," replied the widow, laughing.

In consequence of this intimation, one evening when my father was
walking in the hospital, I persuaded him to call at the shop.

"This is my father, Mrs. St. Felix," said I.

"Most happy to see him. What shall I have the pleasure of assisting you
to, Mr. Saunders?" said the widow.

"My sarvice to you, marm--if you please, to two penn'orth of pigtail and
a paper of shorts."

"Much obliged to you, Mr. Saunders," replied she. "Sure we're much
indebted to Admiral Lord Nelson for sending us such fine-looking
pensioners. I shouldn't wonder if I were to choose a husband out of the
hospital yet."

"I'm afeard we're all too mauled, marm, to suit a pretty young woman
like you," replied my father, very gallantly.

"Thank you for that, Mr. Saunders; but you're mistaken entirely. I don't
consider the loss of a leg, for instance, as anything; I never look at
men's legs, and therefore care little whether they are made of wood or
not, provided they don't tread on my corns."

"Well, marm, I'm glad that you don't consider a timber toe as any